The Countertop Chronicles

Well, that time has finally arrived.

I’ve managed to avoid getting a real gun safe – or, well, security locker – so far.

For the most part, I had my rifles stored in a couple of spots which were largely inaccessible to my oldest son. Handguns were in a Sentry lackable file cabinet and at least locked away. But the rifles and shotguns were certainly possible for him to get ahold of.

But it hadn’t been a problem. Until last week, when my wife and I took a much needed trip to Naples, Fl. Grandma was watching the kids, and proceeded to tell me how my oldest showed her where my guns where.

Now, he did it after she pried it out of him – so I’m a bit ticked at her for that – but her point was clear and correct, nonetheless.

and, as luck would have it, Dicks was having a sale on “gun safes.”. I picked up the 19 gun “safe” for $399. Damn, it weighed a lot – 275lbs – but with a dolly and a friend I managed to get it in and installed last night.

Of course, its not as fancy as Sebastians new safe (but then, I just got a new car and have major renovations underway at home) and its clearly closer to file cabinet security than safe (the walls are pretty thin, and the three locking bolts could easily be pride open) but for my purposes (keeping guns safe and secure from prying little kids – and maybe forcing a thief to think twice – or even just slowing him down till the cops cross the street) its fine.

And at $399, it strikes me as a good deal ($412 with tax).

So, my son re-started kindergarten today.
Already, I’m pretty sure its going to go better than last year.

btw (speaking of hot), how cool is it that Sarah Palin named her youngest son after Van Halen!?!?!?!

pic after the jump

(more…)

We’re watching all six Star Wars movies again in the Countertop Household. Wife is a bit upset about this (its actually the fourth run in the last few weeks – after finishing up Indiana Jones) but I’ve got to say I’m proud of Boy Number 1. He’s showing fine taste in movies.

In honor of that, I present you Leia Fest

HL, my oldest: Did Hillary win?

Me: Yes

HL: But I don’t want Hillary to win.

Me: Who do you want to win??

HL: The man in Virginia! From across the river. George Washington. Why can’t George Washington be President? He doesn’t lie. He doesn’t cheat. He’s a nice man.

Well, looks like my oldest had a bit of a domestic violence altercation. Problem is, I don’t know how to respond.

Here’s the scoop: One of his girlfriends (he has many, I suppose she is now an ex) and him tangled on the playground. HCA is an only child, a bit of a spoiled brat. Her parents, though liberal, are generally ok as friends but we’ve got issues with how they raise their kids. For one, she can do no wrong, ever. Another concern is their (well, at least her mothers) complete inability to say no to the wishes of her child. The result, of course, s a spoiled brat little 5 year old (who incidently likes people to know her father is a senior partner at one of the very largest – if not the largest -l aw firms in the world. Nowa, why would a little girl even ever know that. I doubt my kid knows anything about what I do except work too much. .

So the two of them had a play date today. Turns out there were other kids at the playground and when HL went over to play with them, one of them offerred him so toy. Well, HCA gets real jealous and thinks everything is hers so she ran up to him, decked him, and took it. (While HL is clearly one of the most strinkingly attractive children you’ll ever see – and I’m not just a gloating father here, he could compete with George Clooney in the poontang department if we let him – he isn’t very big. HCA is about 4 months younger, but 3 inches and 25 pounds heavier).

This didn’t go over too well, with either my wife or HL. Nevertheless, HCA is always correct and as usually her mother didn’t say a thing, only encouraging her by telling my son he needed to share A few minutes later, feeling bad for him, the other kids offerred him something else, and as he was about to take it sure as shit HCA came charging up to exert her control.

HL turned around and punched her square in the nose.

Now, he shouldn’t hit people. And, he shouldn’t hit girls. However, doesnt he have the right to defend himself, especially when this happens often and this girl is subject to no parental discipline or control??

My dilemna, therefore, is do I just congratulate him and buy him an ice cream for the good jab .. . . Or do I tell him that in the future he should go for the body shot before launching the power shot to the face??

No, not the Smashing Pumpkins.

Today, we shed a tear as our oldest baby grows into a little boy and departs for his first day of kindergarten.

I know he’ll do well.

OK, so I live in McLean, VA . . . about as affluent a community as your gonna find anywhere in the country with schools generally to match. Both McLean High and its chief rival Langley High (which serves the more well to do part of McLean as well as much of the folks out near Great Falls) are two of the best high schools in the country. Students include the children of Congressmen, Lawyers, Internet CEOs, Ambassadors, and high ranking former Military Brass (who settle here to suck at the federal tit). The lower schools – are the creme de la creme of Virginia public education. The most resources. The most money. The highest scores.

Take for instance our local elementary school, Kent Gardens. It has a full time French Immersion program and seems as if nearly 95% of the teachers there are PhDs.

But then, thats part of the problem. I don’t need a fucking PhD to be my kids kindergarten teacher. Especially one that insists her Kindergarten students call her Dr. G-O (she’s got some long and confusing fucking foreign name). And don’t getr me started on the Ridlin and efforts to transform our little boys into girls (or at least effeminate homosexuals, not that there is anything wrong with that).

But now this just takes the cake!

All touching — not only fighting or inappropriate touching — is against the rules at Kilmer Middle School in Vienna. Hand-holding, handshakes and high-fives? Banned. The rule has been conveyed to students this way: “NO PHYSICAL CONTACT!!!!!”

School officials say the rule helps keep crowded hallways and lunchrooms safe and orderly, and ensures that all students are comfortable.

I think its another tool for out of touch and worthless teachers (and an asinine county administration) to pass the buck and not do their job.

Thankfully, I’m not the only one who feels this way.

Whenever I hear of rules like this, I believe it’s the first sign that a person should not be in education, where one of the duties is to teach young people not just academics but also appropriate behavior. That always has been and always will be a part of education. Rules such as this lead me to believe that a person does not want to do the hard work; he or she would rather make rules to preclude any possible problems.

The problem is, of course, that this attitude is endemic throughout Fairfax County, and so I have to spend money I could otherwise save for college to send my kid to private school.

We were there, Bitters got the pics.Oldest son (now, officially, politically incorrect son) also joined us, as did Ravnwood, a whole lot of people, and about 20 bigots.

Didn’t win, but the second ticket picked was 5 numbers away from us . . . . went to the guy we followed into the parking lot on our drive in.

More later

UPDATE Bitter has more. Including pics of politically incorrect son!)

Expect it to improve. WP is coming up on four weeks and the better half goes to the Doc to get the a-ok this week.

Might be a short bloginus interuptus, but I am sure I’ll return with a big ‘ol grin.

For going to my kids pre school and noticing its MILF central?

As you know, Bitter’s had her fair share of complaints with FTD.

Well, here’s my version.

Su madre is going to be get up here from Florida on Wednsday. It was the earliest she could get out and up. In the meantime, she sent us a fruit basket to great us for our arrival from home.

Went to the local florist in Stuart, FL and ordered one up for $75 that was to include a pineapple, some grapes, jelly beans, as well as the usual fruit and stuff.

That’s not what arrived. Instead, we got 3 bruised bananas (one which has the Giant Grocery tag on it), 2 grapefruits, 2 red delicious apples (PLU # 4016), 2 granny smith apples (PLU # 4139) and 2 pears.

The order was delivered by the Golden Touch Florist & Gifts, Inc here in McLean. I’ve never used them (and wouldn’t) but have received a lot of deliveries from them in the past. All of them left a bit to be desired. I have to think the only business they get is from wire services, where they can best rip people off.

Wife’s comment: Should have used Harry & David.

WP spent his first night home last night. Hit the hot pediatrician (the wife hates when I refer to her in that manner, but hell, she’s smokin’) and then back home. HL was pretty good about things last night, and pretty excited about helping out with his brother.

Woke up at 9, 12, 3 and 5:45 – pretty good as far as I am concerned.

Poops a lot and has progressed from black tar to the mustard seeds.

Back to the pediatrician now though, cause he looks a bit yellow and his bilyrubin count was slightly high. Plus, she’s hot and I always love to head over there.

Mom is in a private room now, different wing different nurses better experience.

Baby is doing well.

Quote of the week – from our new nurses on the evil cult of breastfeeding primadonnas: “they do it cause their stupid and not thinking straight.”

Seriously. It makes no sense. They all need to supplement anyway, its not good for moms

More thoughts

Wife’s comment: This is what I thought Fairfax Inova would be like. I’m never saying a nice thing about this place. (We aren’t the only ones at Sibley who feel this way right now).

Physical condition: wife is exhausted and didn’t sleep at all last night cause her roomates hubby decided it would be a great place to hold a hip hop party at midnight. Sibley’s incompetant staff didn’t do anything to rectify the situation.

I’m hungry and in need of java.

Unix-Jedi, he’ll start off with a single shot Remington boltie and then get a 10/22. Both in 22lr Timing on that is still to be determined. His brother hasn’t progressed to that level yet, and he’s turning 5 this spring.

Back to Sibley sucks

Sure, there is a mini baby boom going on. I understand that.

Stop apologizing for it, and just clean the dam room before moving us into it.

And, we might have a child already, but that was 5 years ago. A little assistance, such as showing us how to swaddle, or maybe help us figure out how to feed the baby or help my wife get up to go to the bathroom.