The Countertop Chronicles

Just got back.

My son is starting First Grade and he is in French Immersion – half his day is in French and half in English.

His French teacher is about 55 years old, tall, thin, impeccably dressed and gorgeous french accent. You can tell that back in the day she was a stunner. I wouldn’t be surprised to find out that she’s married to the French Ambassador, or some king or something.

His english teacher is from Southern Virginia. 27 years old. Smokin’ Hot (though not as hot as his kindergarten teacher) and according to my son she has a Tramp Stamp.

heh heh heh (yes, I am a pig)

So, my son re-started kindergarten today.
Already, I’m pretty sure its going to go better than last year.

btw (speaking of hot), how cool is it that Sarah Palin named her youngest son after Van Halen!?!?!?!

pic after the jump

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We’re watching all six Star Wars movies again in the Countertop Household. Wife is a bit upset about this (its actually the fourth run in the last few weeks – after finishing up Indiana Jones) but I’ve got to say I’m proud of Boy Number 1. He’s showing fine taste in movies.

In honor of that, I present you Leia Fest

Watched Star Wars (the original one) with my 6 year old last night.

Great memories. Boy they grow fast.

HL, my oldest: Did Hillary win?

Me: Yes

HL: But I don’t want Hillary to win.

Me: Who do you want to win??

HL: The man in Virginia! From across the river. George Washington. Why can’t George Washington be President? He doesn’t lie. He doesn’t cheat. He’s a nice man.

The oldest turned 6 today. I can’t believe how fast they grow. He’s officially not a little boy anymore. Makes me want to cry.

Cool gifts include a Beta fighting fish, which he immediatly named “King of all Fish”. And that’s the only way we are allowed to refer to him.

Also got a zip wire. (Yeah!!!!) And a Nintendo DS and the Complete Lego Star Wars saga game. Too cool!!

In other news, I learned he shared a birthday with Adolf Hitler. Didn’t know that till today. Put that together with the fact that our youngest shares a name with the author of the Turner Diaries and the conspiracy artists are gonna have a field day.

Going out celebrating tonight.

We pulled the oldest from private school a couple of weeks ago and enrolled him in our local elementary school. The difference in attitude is amazing and I’m shocked in how much he picked up in 1/2 a week at his new school compared to almost a full year at the private school.

But thats not what we are celebrating – rather, he was accepted into Fairfax County’s amazing language immersion program. He’ll be spending half his day speaking French.

And in that honor, here’s a sampling of the the great conquests he has before him (Kim Style)
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Back about 24 years ago (has it really been that long?!?!?) Ronald Reagan ran this especially powerful ad in his campaign against Walter Mondale.

The punch line: Its Morning Again In America

I was going to draft a post here, about how in the last 24 hours it appears that a hopeful morning has once again come to America. With McCain’s nomination locked up, it spells the end of the Bush era. The Republican problems in D.C. (of which I have written and will write more) that arose directly from their ingrained sense of presumed power and wisdom and disdain for their own Contract With America (not to mention the American people themselves) will now be corrected.

But its not an achievement limited to ridding our nation of the corrupting and devisive influence of the Bush brand of politics. No. As each minute goes by, it hope springs more eternal that the other corrupt political family (and their self important despotic minions) of late 20th century the Clinton’s will also be undone.

Yes. It was going to be a glorious post. But something altogether more astounding happened.

My wife agreed to take our son out of his VERY VERY expensive private school and enroll him – with his friends – in the local public school. Sure its got problems, but they aren’t much different than the crap we’ve had to deal with in his private school (and at least I’m not bankrupting myself to send him there). So, you may ask, what does this have to do with a gun blog???

Well, you see. Two very important dates are coming up.

April 15th Buy A Gun Day (really, you need to check out Aaron The Liberal Slayer’s Blog These Days)

and now
Evil Black Rifle Day

And compliments of this gracious decision on the wife’s part – we will once again have a cash surplus around the house . Look for an appropriate battlefield purchase soon.

I think so.

I was supposed to attend the gun blogger shoot in knoxville the other day, but Friday evening brought one very sick (projectile vomitting) 9 month old which lead to one very sick 5 year old.

So I stayed home to help the mom out and proceeded to lose my keys at some point.

I’ve been looking all day long and haven’t found them yet

He’s in kindergarten.

His school is K-8

He submitted his name to run for school president, and intends to win!

This is some pretty fricken amazing home video of the three B’s: Bobby, Brent and Bill hanging out in a hotel and jamming on the lobby piano. I’d pretty much shit a brick if I had walked in on this.

I’ve been posting a ton of Bobby Weir here lately, and the other day put up a Jerry tune. For me, one of the great additions to the band following the swinging disco seventies was Brent Mydland’s deep, organ inspired playing and soulful (Michael McDonald like) voice. While some folks didn’t care for each show’s obligatory Brent tune, seeing it as an occasion to hit the head, grab a drink, light the bowl, or simply sit down, his vocals gave new rise to songs like Cassidy (which I’ve already highlighted) as well as covers such as Traffic’s Dear Mr. Fantasy.

Here’s Brent doing Never Trust A Woman. I think my son learned his lesson today.

Never Trust A Woman
Words and Music by Brent Mydland

Gonna see some good times
Gonna get to ring that bell
Gonna see some good times
Some times to make up for when I’m not feeling well
I must be due some great times
‘Cause right now I feel like hell

Never trust a woman who wears her pants too tight
Never trust a woman who wears her pants too tight
She might love you tomorrow
But she’ll be gone tomorrow night

Come tomorrow I get my pay and I’m gonna leave this town
Come tomorrow I get my pay and I’m gonna leave this [goddamn/motherfucking] town
‘Cause she don’t really love me
There ain’t no reason to stick around

Gonna see some good times
Gonna get to ring that bell
Gonna see some good times
Some times to make up for when I’m not feeling well
Must be due some great times
‘Cause right now I feel like hell

[ad lib]
But if they don’t come
Well if they never come around
If they don’t come to me
If they don’t come to me tonight
If they don’t come to me next week
If they don’t come to me next year
What the hell

Brent died July 26, 1990 from a speedball overdose, joining John Belushi, Chris Farley, Layne Staley, River Phoenix, and Hillel Slovak as a victim of that particularly nasty combination of heroin and coke.

RIP, Brent

Well, looks like my oldest had a bit of a domestic violence altercation. Problem is, I don’t know how to respond.

Here’s the scoop: One of his girlfriends (he has many, I suppose she is now an ex) and him tangled on the playground. HCA is an only child, a bit of a spoiled brat. Her parents, though liberal, are generally ok as friends but we’ve got issues with how they raise their kids. For one, she can do no wrong, ever. Another concern is their (well, at least her mothers) complete inability to say no to the wishes of her child. The result, of course, s a spoiled brat little 5 year old (who incidently likes people to know her father is a senior partner at one of the very largest – if not the largest -l aw firms in the world. Nowa, why would a little girl even ever know that. I doubt my kid knows anything about what I do except work too much. .

So the two of them had a play date today. Turns out there were other kids at the playground and when HL went over to play with them, one of them offerred him so toy. Well, HCA gets real jealous and thinks everything is hers so she ran up to him, decked him, and took it. (While HL is clearly one of the most strinkingly attractive children you’ll ever see – and I’m not just a gloating father here, he could compete with George Clooney in the poontang department if we let him – he isn’t very big. HCA is about 4 months younger, but 3 inches and 25 pounds heavier).

This didn’t go over too well, with either my wife or HL. Nevertheless, HCA is always correct and as usually her mother didn’t say a thing, only encouraging her by telling my son he needed to share A few minutes later, feeling bad for him, the other kids offerred him something else, and as he was about to take it sure as shit HCA came charging up to exert her control.

HL turned around and punched her square in the nose.

Now, he shouldn’t hit people. And, he shouldn’t hit girls. However, doesnt he have the right to defend himself, especially when this happens often and this girl is subject to no parental discipline or control??

My dilemna, therefore, is do I just congratulate him and buy him an ice cream for the good jab .. . . Or do I tell him that in the future he should go for the body shot before launching the power shot to the face??

No, not the Smashing Pumpkins.

Today, we shed a tear as our oldest baby grows into a little boy and departs for his first day of kindergarten.

I know he’ll do well.

Not just my son’s first day of kindergarten, but also National Ammo Day, Jr!!

(not to be confused with Ammo Day on November 12, though Kim has given his blessings)

I might just have to take him with me.

OK, so I live in McLean, VA . . . about as affluent a community as your gonna find anywhere in the country with schools generally to match. Both McLean High and its chief rival Langley High (which serves the more well to do part of McLean as well as much of the folks out near Great Falls) are two of the best high schools in the country. Students include the children of Congressmen, Lawyers, Internet CEOs, Ambassadors, and high ranking former Military Brass (who settle here to suck at the federal tit). The lower schools – are the creme de la creme of Virginia public education. The most resources. The most money. The highest scores.

Take for instance our local elementary school, Kent Gardens. It has a full time French Immersion program and seems as if nearly 95% of the teachers there are PhDs.

But then, thats part of the problem. I don’t need a fucking PhD to be my kids kindergarten teacher. Especially one that insists her Kindergarten students call her Dr. G-O (she’s got some long and confusing fucking foreign name). And don’t getr me started on the Ridlin and efforts to transform our little boys into girls (or at least effeminate homosexuals, not that there is anything wrong with that).

But now this just takes the cake!

All touching — not only fighting or inappropriate touching — is against the rules at Kilmer Middle School in Vienna. Hand-holding, handshakes and high-fives? Banned. The rule has been conveyed to students this way: “NO PHYSICAL CONTACT!!!!!”

School officials say the rule helps keep crowded hallways and lunchrooms safe and orderly, and ensures that all students are comfortable.

I think its another tool for out of touch and worthless teachers (and an asinine county administration) to pass the buck and not do their job.

Thankfully, I’m not the only one who feels this way.

Whenever I hear of rules like this, I believe it’s the first sign that a person should not be in education, where one of the duties is to teach young people not just academics but also appropriate behavior. That always has been and always will be a part of education. Rules such as this lead me to believe that a person does not want to do the hard work; he or she would rather make rules to preclude any possible problems.

The problem is, of course, that this attitude is endemic throughout Fairfax County, and so I have to spend money I could otherwise save for college to send my kid to private school.