The Countertop Chronicles

My four year old, who has been potty trained for a long long time, just pee’d in his pants.

Whats annoying is as my wife’s pregnancy progresses, and his behavior becomes worse, we joked last night that at least he hadn’t reverted to going in his pants.

Guess again. The wife told him that going potty in his pants is the one thing about little baby’s that we really don’t like. He seemed to understand.

My four year old, who has been potty trained for a long long time, just pee’d in his pants.

Whats annoying is as my wife’s pregnancy progresses, and his behavior becomes worse, we joked last night that at least he hadn’t reverted to going in his pants.

Guess again. The wife told him that going potty in his pants is the one thing about little baby’s that we really don’t like. He seemed to understand.

Neither can my wife.

You see, they were both born at Sibley Memorial Hospital in the District of Columbia, and as Stephen Colbert reports are ineligible to run for President.

Neither can my wife.

You see, they were both born at Sibley Memorial Hospital in the District of Columbia, and as Stephen Colbert reports are ineligible to run for President.

You probably know it already, but the Carnival of Cordite.

Read it out now! Resistance is Futile.

You probably know it already, but the Carnival of Cordite.

Read it out now! Resistance is Futile.

As if I needed any more reasons not to vote Republican.

I know Jerry Lewis. I don’t know Leticia, but do know lots of his other staffers. Sadly, there is nothing remarkable in this town about the slime they exude. Disgusting.

Incidently, I’ve taken my I Blog For Bush sticker down.

As if I needed any more reasons not to vote Republican.

I know Jerry Lewis. I don’t know Leticia, but do know lots of his other staffers. Sadly, there is nothing remarkable in this town about the slime they exude. Disgusting.

Incidently, I’ve taken my I Blog For Bush sticker down.

For Bill (my soon to be former boss)

Take This Job and Shove It
lyrics by Johnny Paycheck

Take this job and shove it
I ain’t working here no more
My woman done left and took all the reasons
I was working for
You better not try to stand in my way
As im a walking out the door.
Take this job and shove it
I ain’t working here no more

Ive been workin in this factory
From now on fifteen years
All this time I watched my woman
Drowning in a pool of tears
And Ive seen a lot of good folk die
Who had a lot of bills to pay
I’d give the shirt right off of my back
If I had the nerve to say

(Chorus)

Well that foreman, hes a regular dog
The line boss, hes a fool
Got a brand new flat-top haircut
Lord, he thinks hes cool
One of these days, Im gonna blow my top
And that sucker, hes gonna pay
Lord I cant wait to see their faces
When I get up the nerve to say

(Chorus)

(Instrumental)

Take this job and shove it

For Bill (my soon to be former boss)

Take This Job and Shove It
lyrics by Johnny Paycheck

Take this job and shove it
I ain’t working here no more
My woman done left and took all the reasons
I was working for
You better not try to stand in my way
As im a walking out the door.
Take this job and shove it
I ain’t working here no more

Ive been workin in this factory
From now on fifteen years
All this time I watched my woman
Drowning in a pool of tears
And Ive seen a lot of good folk die
Who had a lot of bills to pay
I’d give the shirt right off of my back
If I had the nerve to say

(Chorus)

Well that foreman, hes a regular dog
The line boss, hes a fool
Got a brand new flat-top haircut
Lord, he thinks hes cool
One of these days, Im gonna blow my top
And that sucker, hes gonna pay
Lord I cant wait to see their faces
When I get up the nerve to say

(Chorus)

(Instrumental)

Take this job and shove it

No, not Clay Aiken, I mean the clay sports.

Trap, Skeet, Sporting Clays.

For some reason, I am sucking it up hard this summer. Used to be that I could not shoot a shotgun sport for a year or more, show up, and at lest hit 14 or 15 no problem - and was in the 20s after a few rounds under my belt.

No more. I shot poor last week. I shot equally poor this morning.

Trap - 9, 10
Skeet - 8, 13, 11

Whats up with that????? With the fall fast approaching, I need some serious work. Needless to say, I will be taking a shotgun lesson one night this week - either Tuesday or Wednesday.

No, not Clay Aiken, I mean the clay sports.

Trap, Skeet, Sporting Clays.

For some reason, I am sucking it up hard this summer. Used to be that I could not shoot a shotgun sport for a year or more, show up, and at lest hit 14 or 15 no problem - and was in the 20s after a few rounds under my belt.

No more. I shot poor last week. I shot equally poor this morning.

Trap - 9, 10
Skeet - 8, 13, 11

Whats up with that????? With the fall fast approaching, I need some serious work. Needless to say, I will be taking a shotgun lesson one night this week - either Tuesday or Wednesday.

Someone landed a new job today complete with

a) a significant pay raise;
b) control over a budget thats quite a bit bigger than my current boss’s budget;
b) a friendly boss;
c) a friendly staff;
d) potentially a lot more hours and significantly more travel (including a 2 week trip to the corn fields of Iowa at the start of deer season) and a lot more responsibility.

That means, as of September 1 blogging here is going to take a slight break until I can adjust to my new role, get a grip on my resources, and figure out a plan to efficiently manage my time. Its not going to stop, its just going to be occurring less frequently and at more specific times. Of course, I also hope that it drives me to increase the quality of my posts.

Someone landed a new job today complete with

a) a significant pay raise;
b) control over a budget thats quite a bit bigger than my current boss’s budget;
b) a friendly boss;
c) a friendly staff;
d) potentially a lot more hours and significantly more travel (including a 2 week trip to the corn fields of Iowa at the start of deer season) and a lot more responsibility.

That means, as of September 1 blogging here is going to take a slight break until I can adjust to my new role, get a grip on my resources, and figure out a plan to efficiently manage my time. Its not going to stop, its just going to be occurring less frequently and at more specific times. Of course, I also hope that it drives me to increase the quality of my posts.

I knew Smithfield was headquartered in Southeastn Virginia but didn’t realize the states largest swine operation was actually in Northern Virginia.

Living in the very conservative Commonwealth of Virginia - I would have hoped my elected representatives understood the value of small government.

Guess again!!

For the longest time, I was in do-nothing-fence-sitter-Tom “Worthless” Davis’s (R-VA) district. In fact, I used to be a precinct captain for the local republican party in his district. Sadly, but not unsurprisingly, Congressman Worthless scored a stellar 16% (or 3 good votes out of 19).

Good thing, you say, that I am no longer in his district.

Yes, as a quirk or gerrymandering I left his district and with no movement on my part at all, found myself in Frank Wolf’s (R-VA) district. Wolf, the allegedly more conservative and down to business long time congressman also happens to run the Appropriations committee. Not surprisingly, he’s also willing to wholly sell the country down the river scoring a whopping 0% (0 out of 19 votes) according to the Club for Growth.

What I find most amusing though, is the utter surprise of my fellow local Republican party members (one of whom threatened to have me thrown out) when I told him I was going to hold my nose and vote for a straight line Democrat ticket this fall.

Of course, this isn’t foolproof solution since the local child-beating-Mastercard-low-interest-loan-recieving Congressionalthiefinchief Jim Moran (D-VA) also recieved a stellar 0%.

But hey, better the enemy you know and all that.

Throw the bums out.