The Countertop Chronicles

File this under Don’t Throw Rocks If You Live in a Glass House.

It seems that Teresa Heinz Kerry’s 31 year old son thinks President Bush is nothing by a cokehead.

Hmm, well, I think Heinz is full of himself, and his brother is a flake.

Un-fricking-believable.

Fiarfax County Virginia County Supervisor Gerald “Vote for Me, I’m Gonna Raise Your Taxes” Connolly (D) has been acquitted on of a hit and run charge stemming from an accident last year.

The reason ?

Johnston, in issuing his not guilty ruling, said Connolly’s “position and his duties have caused him to be oblivious to what is going on in his car.”

Folks, you can’t make this crap up.

Well, the Redskins lost.

Big deal. The Patriots also lost. And the Red Sox won. If those streaks ended this year, well then, the Redskin’s prediction streak can end too.

In any case, its about time I made a prediction - not simply that Bush is gonna win, but by how much.

You might remember that earlier this year, in mid may in fact, I predicted a landslide victory for Bush. Well, here we are, two days out. A lots changed, but a lot has stayed the same.

Do I still think its going to be a landslide. Yes. Will it be as big of a landslide as Reagan Mondale? No, probably not. But it will be big - on the electoral vote side of things at least.

How big??? Try Bush 329-209, with him finishing 5-6 points up nationwide.

Here’s my map, compliments of the LA Times.

Its not a perfect defeat, but it will do. And interestingly enough, if you check out Les Jone’s compilation of predictions, you can see a strong Bush re-election trend forming.

There are also a bunch of other important elections going on. The Senate is up for grabs, and while the Democrats think the House might fall too, I just don’t believe that for a second.

In the Senate, here are my predictions:

ALASKA Democrat Tony Knowles over Incumbent Republican Lisa Murkowski. Governor’s shouldn’t appoint their unqualified daughters to the U.S. Senate.

CALIFORNIA Much to my chagrin, Democrat Barbara Boxer will be reelected.

COLORADO Republican Pete Coors is going to squeak by democrat AG Ken Salazar on Bush’s coattails and keep this seat for the Republicans.

FLORIDA Republican Mel Martinez is also going to squeak by on Bush’s coattails to pick up an additional Senate seat and compensate for the loss of Alaska.

GEORGIA Republican Johnny Isakson isn’t as loved as retiring Democrat Zell Miller, but he will still have an easy time picking up another Senate seat for the Republicans.

ILLINOIS Retiring Republican Pete Fitzgerald is a loser. Thats why he decided to retire rather than stick it out and go down in defeat. Nevertheless, he would have stood a better chance of defending this republican seat than the carpetbagger Alan Keyes. Barak Osama will have the easiest win of any freshman senator, except perhaps Johnny Isakson. By the way, that means the Democrats pick up an additional seat.

LOUISIANA I have no idea what’s going to happen in Louisiana. Sure, Republican David Vitter will probably win on election day, but I don’t think he will have a majority of the votes. Under Louisiana’s weird system, that throws the election into a runoff which will likely pit him against Democratic Congressman Chris John. My gut tells me that Chris John will win the run off. He’s a good guy with a head on his shoulders. About as good a man as you could expect a Democrat to be. I just wish he were a Republican.

MISSOURI For once, Kit Bond will have no trouble defending his seat this time. Thank John Kerry and gay marriages.

NORTH CAROLINA I think Richard Burr is going to shock some people here and beat former Clinton Chief of Staff Erskine Bowles for John Edward’s seat..

OKLAHOMA Oklahoma is too close to call, but I’ll do it anyway. Republican Tom Coburn, for all his problems and difficulties this election is going to win.

PENNSYLVANIA Republican Senator Arlen Specter will be spending the next six years in Washington, D.C.

SOUTH CAROLINA The South Carolina schools are in too bad a condition and these folks are going to have too tough a time voting for a liberal Democrat. Republican Jim DeMint is going to add another seat to the Republican tally.

SOUTH DAKOTA Sing it now. With passion. For Tom Dachle.

Na Na Na Na, Hey Hey Hey, Bye Bye.

John Thune is going to send D.C. Resident and South Dakota Senator and Minority Leader Tom Daschle back to his Georgetown mansion.

WASHINGTON Washington is another state, like California, that won’t be missed when the big one hits and it slides into the big lake off the West coast. Incumbent Sen. Patty Murray, friend and supporter of Osama Bin Laden, will easily win reelection.

WISCONSIN Wouldn’t it be funny. Yes it would and I think it might happen. Once again, Bush’s coattails are going to sweep a Republican into office. In this case, Republican Tim Michels is going to send Russ Feingold to the unemployment line, where his stupid law will prevent him from complaining about the conditions.

For those keeping score, I’m predicting the Democrats taking over two currently held Republican seats, while the Republicans take 6 from the communists, for a net increase of 4.

The Colonel came home from the Hospital on Friday night, ensuring a pleasant Halloween for all involved. We spent some time with him that evening, and I spent a good part of yesterday with him, helping him with his medications, making some lunch, and just otherwise assisting around the house. Hence, there’s been no blogging this weekend.

Today, of course, is Halloween. After a short trip this morning to a deserted Ikea, we carved some pumpkin and got the boy wonder dressed in his chaps, leather vest, cowboy hat and toy six shooter. He was adorable and went around the neighbor hood, like only a 2 year old boy can, yelling BANG BANG BANG while pointing his gun at people.

As we face the specter of Osama Bin Lade’s re-appreance and the thought that a traitor from the state of California and its disfunctional school system is once again doing Bin Assholes bidding, I offer the following words of wisdom, by way of John Tant.

“You know what they call a candidate who’s counting on a lot of new voters? A loser.”

- James Carville

This may be the only time I ever hope the ragin’ cajun is correct.

As an aside - perhaps its time for another Osama Bin Pumpkin shootout.

That asshole has released another tape.

I turned on the TV on my desk and while surfing up on to Fox News, passed Dan Rather on CBS news who looked like he just saw a ghost. More importantly, and perhaps more insightfully, he also had an air about him as if one of his minions had spoken out of turn and he needed to know go into damage control mode.

• We Don’t Know Where Bin Laden Is
• We Dont’t know if this is Bin Laden
• The Bush Administration has not captured Bin Laden yet
• If this is Bin Laden, the Bush Administration hasn’t killed Bin Laden yet
• We don’t know if this isn’t just a sick joke designed to punish our saviour, John Kerry
• John Edwards pays attention to his hair
• John Kerry is respected in France

You get the picture.

Now some jerk is on Fox criticizing the President’s prosecution of the war on terror and suggesting that we should listen to the sage advice of Jimmy Carter. Hopefully John “Friend of America’s Enemies” Kerry will do the country a favor by going on TV tonite and repeating this line.

Good Post, JLB

As we descend down the dark nd scary paths leading us to election day and the fear of the unknown that November 3rd will bring, sometimes its good to just laugh.

This recollection of a recent airplane ride is perfect.

Hat tip to Tim Sandefur

We have a scumbag carpetbagger from California by way of Haaaavahhhd running for Congress in my District. He’s a big ‘ol flaming liberal L who made a mint in the internet boom. He decided he wanted to run for Congress, looked around, and then decided to rent an apartment here and run for Congress.

He’s ran an especially nasty campaign.

So nasty, that the very liberal Washington Post ran this editorial today. I reprint it in its entirety.

APOLITICAL NEWCOMER in Virginia’s 10th Congressional District, James Socas is running a determined if uphill campaign against Rep. Frank R. Wolf, the respected Republican incumbent. His determination is fine, and Mr. Socas, a Democrat and former investment banker, has some ideas worth considering. But in his attacks on Mr. Wolf, his zeal has outstripped his judgment in a couple of instances.

In one case, Mr. Socas wrote this month to the House ethics committee to complain that members of Mr. Wolf’s government-funded congressional staff had improperly crossed the line barring them from engaging in active politicking. That’s a not-uncommon grievance from a candidate running against an incumbent, and we make no judgment on the merits of Mr. Socas’s particular complaint. But Mr. Socas has no standing with the ethics committee, whose rules specify that complaints must be filed or endorsed by members of Congress and, in any event, cannot be considered within 60 days of an election. And Mr. Socas really overstepped when he used the fact of his letter to suggest to voters, in a telephone survey, that Mr. Wolf might be under investigation.

Similarly, Mr. Socas has used the telephone survey as well as fliers to suggest to voters that Mr. Wolf is a member of an “extreme” religious group known as “the Family,” which was the subject of a lengthy article in Harper’s Magazine last year. Mr. Wolf makes no secret of his deep Christian beliefs, which he says have motivated him to take a leading role in Congress on behalf of oppressed people (including Muslims and Buddhists) in Darfur, Ethiopia, Tibet, China and elsewhere. We have long admired Mr. Wolf’s commitment to human rights around the world; few members of Congress have more actively pushed for recognition of the ongoing genocide in Darfur. For Mr. Socas to portray Mr. Wolf as some kind of religious fanatic is reprehensible.

I couldn’t agree more. I challenge the Post to uncover where Mr. Socas was given the special interest left wing talking points he unwisely followed in this election. My guess is they would lead straight back to Michael Moore and his socialist buddies in the Democratic Party like Nancy Pelosi.

Thanks for all your concerns. They are much appreciated.

The Colonel was moved back out of the Intensive Care unit yesterday and is once again in the general population ward of George Washington Hospital. His infection has subsided, though he still has a fever and an irregular heart rate which is troubling for us, though his cardiologist seems less worried about the heart beat. I don’t know if thats something that normally occurs, or what, with bypass surgery. If any of my readers have any insight, please let me know.

If all goes well the next couple of days, he might be home by Sunday.

My wife just called.

Seems that all our hard work is paying off and my son woke up this morning and went and pee peeed on the potty.

I am so proud of him.

Of course, we’ve been bribing him with gummy bears.

I don’t care.

They still suck.

UPDATE: Well, maybe not all of them. In any case, Congratulations are still in order for ending their 86 year drought.

I don’t know. I thinkthis video, which I guess is meant to turn people off from Bush, is actually one of the most reassuring and inspiring things I’ve ever seen on him.

He comes off as sharp, humorous, and real. He comes off as everything Kerry aint.

In politics, at the end of the day, people still vote for the guy they want to grab a beer with.

This idiot goblin should have limited the burglaries to D.C. Folks in Virginia, as the Washington Post like to point out, have guns.

Fairfax, Va. (AP) - There’s a young burglary suspect who no doubt wishes he’d picked another house. That’s because Fairfax County (website - news) police say the one they found him in is owned by a guy with a gun.

Investigators say shortly before 2 a.m., the homeowner heard some noises in his house in the 3900 block of Collis Oak Court, in the Fair Oaks neighborhood. The man grabbed his gun and went to take a look.

According to police, he found a 17-year-old wearing a ski mask and gloves. Turning the tables on the teen, the homeowner ordered him to call police, which he did. Officers arrived and took him into custody. The suspect was later released to his parents, and charges are pending.

No shots were fired and no one was hurt.

Of course, he wasn’t shot, but I like the fact that the homeowner made him call the cops. I don’t really need to point this out here, but I will anyway. If this crime occurred in D.C., the homeowner would have been faced with the longer prison term.